Hating that I don't hate you...

In the beginning there's always light, light so bright it blinds us... We take no notice hoping that what we can't see won't hurt us. How wrong we always are... I choose not to see the lipstick on your shirt, I choose not to see the messages on your phone, I choose not to hear and see the sly remarks and pitiful glances of others not blinded by the light, I choose you, because you are in the air I breath, you invade my 5 senses and create a 6th one in me, you arouse feelings in me I never knew I had, when i see you my heart beats at a speed that no human could possibly attain, you know how much power you wield over me and you use it. Soon enough the light dims, I gradually being to see everything and more, I realise that I can no longer turn away from the things you do, moving on without you is my only option. Yet I can't help smiling when I remember the memories we created, the breezy nights under the stars, the sunsets in your arms when I willed the sun to stay down forever, the lazy afternoons we talked exchanging parts of our lives and cherishing them... I try to provoke the hatred within me but it is to no avail, you are a part of me and will always be. I can't help but hate that I can't hate you...