My dream world...

Waking up every morning is the anti- climax of my life, my dreamworld is where I want to be, its where I fit in, its my only escape. Today wasn't any different, I still woke up feeling like crap, shivering inwardly as I began the rituals of the day. I brushed my teeth, had a quick bath and skipped breakfast as usual. 'In ur face mum, who's skipping breakfast now?' I muttered under my breath. I passed the same people on the road, saying hi without even looking at them, liking this lot was as impossible as flying without wings. I pulled the ends of my jacket tighter together as I neared my office. 'Ms Parker, you shouldn't be walking...', the doorman started. I hushed him with a wave of my hand, my agent was going to give me the speech anyway. I became some what successful, after writing some shitty novel by mistake, apparently people really liked shitty stuff. I pulled out my ipod and stuck the little earphones in my ear as I saw my agent approaching. His lips moved while I listened to Alicia Keys. When he was through, he left me and I walked into my cold, dark office. It mirrored what and how I felt inside. I practically flung myself on the sofa and tried to force myself to sleep, it was all I wanted to do. Most people's nightmares begin when they sleep, mine begun when I woke up. I sighed when I realised that I wasn't going to sleep, sitting up I raked a hand through my hair and let the tears flow. All I ever wanted was a world where I fit in, where people genuinely wanted me, where I didn't have to cry or sleep to escape from my nightmares. I thought that fame and wealth would give it to me, but apparently it makes it worse. The pretense, the politics... It was all too much for me. I was not one of the tough ones who was born with steel around their heart, protecting them from whoever or whatever wanted to hurt them. I had no defense mechanism and it killed me a little everyday. I had the life most people wanted and didn't even want it. I wanted my dreams...