The tension in the hospital waiting room was intoxicating, Anne paced back and forth so fast that it was hurting my eyes, Andre was sitting next to me tapping his feet on the glossy tiled floor repeatedly as I sat next to him silently, feeling guilty about the whole thing. If you weren't here earlier all you need to know is I almost killed my father. No, not the crazy,evil kind of serial killer kind of way, actually I hurt his feelings and triggered a heart attack, that's all you need to know for now. It was really unnerving when a doctor or a nurse passed by, we all jumped up or looked up only to be disappointed. A few minutes later the hospital waiting room door swung open,without looking up I knew who it was," Maureen, I'm so glad you're here..." Anne begun only to be rudely ignored.
"Myra, sweetheart, how are you doing?" Maureen enveloped me in a very uncomfortable, not to mention awkward hug.
My voice was lost, a dozen questions rushed through my mind and only one thing was certain, things were about to get ugly," I... I'm..."
"Oh you poor dear, you must still be in shock, do you need anything?"She asked me dutifully.
I shook my head with all the strength I could muster, I glanced at Anne through the corner of my eye, she was as startled and bewildered as I was. I didn't know where this was going but as long as Maureen was involved it wasn't good. I scanned the room for Andre and noticed he was still beside me he was trying to hide a smile... the mischievous goat was having a laugh over my crisis, the thought almost brought a smile to my lips but I knew better.
"Good evening Anne... we need to talk," She glared at Anne with such 'Ice' I could actually feel the temperature drop in the room.
"Alright then," Anne gestured for them to step aside, her head was held up fearlessly her lower lip was quivering so fast that it looked like she was talking.
"Oh no, sweetheart, you should know by now that I am not afraid to air my dirty linens in public."
Anne stuttered,"Why should we... we don't have dirty linens, do we?"
Maureen arched an eyebrow and took two dramatic steps towards Anne,"Why did you blame this poor child for something that was probably a coincidence, you always want to be the good guy...'Oh boo-hoo, the child has no mother figure lets marry her rich dad and then help her', 'goodness gracious, her rich dad is hardly home, let me move in with her to keep her and her awesome friends company', 'Oh my Lord she's angry at her rich dad then he has a heart attack, let me take sides with him in case..."
"Don't you dare say it?" Anne hissed through clenched teeth.
I could feel Andre right behind me, I leaned into him and enjoyed the feeling of his arms around before I came back to reality, if Anne and Maureen had a falling out because of me I would kill myself.
"Oh so what now you're gonna beat me, well go ahead, thank God we're in a hospital so I can pay your bills when I'm through whooping your ass," Maureen rolled up her non-existent sleeves.
The room went silent, even the usual 'hustle and bustle' hospital sounds were gone.
Anne broke the silence with an eardrum piercing laugh,"Did you hear that in a movie or something?"
"Yeahhh. that chick flick you left me to struggle through last week... you have to admit its good though?"
I stared in awe and amazement as the two ladies chattered away, what happened to the fight...about me?
"They grow up so fast," Andre squeezed me a bit before he went to join in the fun.
I smiled as I watched them, this was the craziest group of friends I had ever seen and I was glad to say they were mine. Well, at least we have some good news, no one was attending my funeral in the nearest future...
"Excuse me you are here for Mr.Nigel..."
"Yes!"everyone huddled around the doctor,"We tried everything but..."
I just had to jinx it, there were gonna be two funerals, my dad's then mine.
"...we just couldn't kill the old man," the doctor laughed... by himself,"Jeez, just trying to lighten the situation."
We all stared at him blankly, till he got the message and continued," The catch is, he can't remember a thing..."
Lets make that one funeral, MINE.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Closure gone wrong...
So here I am standing in my kitchen glaring at my dad while everyone goes soft on him, yes even Anne was patting his hand and asking about his health.
"Cut it out, will you?!" I screamed at the top of my voice,"All of you."
I could see surprise etched accross everyone's face, I can't blame them, I had just been told that my dad was dying and all I could do was scream like a little bitch.
Anne walked over to me and placed an arm on my shoulder,"Whats the matter love?"
I shrugged her hand off and paced for a while, running my fingers through my hair compulsively, then I finally gave in as warm tears rolled down my cheeks,"You always find a way to come out looking like the good guy, don't you..."
"Myra..." he begun.
"No let me speak!" I screamed at him, I could see the blood drain out of Andre's face,"I think I should go, this seems like a family issue," Andre muttered as he began to walk out.
"Sit your ass down," I shouted at him,"You're more like family to me than he will ever be."
Andre knew what was good for him, he glanced apologetically at my father then sat down at the kitchen table. I could see raw confusion written all over my dad's face,but nevertheless he stood there silently.
"All my life, I've craved your attention, I've wanted you to be there for me, not your stupid money..."
"My stupid money gave you a good life Myra, what more could you want?" He questioned.
"I wanted a father, like most girls... making your stupid money was an excuse to be away from me, I never really understood why you did it dad, but by the time I was old enough to stop caring I did it and now out of the blues, you happen to be dying so you want to rekindle family ties, you want to make things better... I've got a shocker for you dad, no amount of cancer is making me give you that chance, you had your chance and you blew it," I walked out feeling like the most insensitive human being in the world, I didn't even know where that came from all I knew is that it felt pretty darn good.I could hear Anne"s teary voice behind me,"Oh my God, I truly didn't see that coming, I'll go talk to her."
I didn't hear the rest of what they said because I had slammed my door and locked myself in, I never realised how hurt I was by my father's absense in my life, I always wondered why people bothered, it was quite fun when I had no step mothers trying to pry into my life,but obviously there was a time I cared, it all ended on my 7th birthday, my dad had been promising to take me to Disneyland all year, I had bragged about it at school, I had talked to my pet cat about it, I even started watching Disney cartoons ,which I hates, because of it. A day to my birthday he had a business meeting in London, I heard him leaving in the middle of the night like a thief, he told his assistant to take me to disney land, I didn't go. What he never understood was that I hated Disney productions and Disneyland, I hadn't been bragging about Disneyland all year, I was in a rich kid school so no one gave a rat's ass about Disney land. I was bragging about the fact that my dad was gonna take a day off to spend time with me in Disneyland. Tears ran down my cheeks as I remembered my 7year old self throwing her disney cartoon collection out the window, that was the day I stopped caring and now he came out of the blues to tell me that all he had to give me, all he had to make up for all that lost time was 'less than a year'? I wiped my tears and lay down on my bed, curling myself up in a fetal position. There was a soft knock on my door, I sniffed a little,"Go away, whoever you are."
"Sweetheart its me," My dad said calmly, but from the slight shake in his voice I could tell he had been crying, I felt a slight pang of regret as I got up to open the door for him.
He walked in slowly and closed the door behind him as I flung myself on my bed and resumed my moping.
"I know I wasn't the best father you could find and I don't expect you to understand why I did what I did, but after your mother died..."
"Don't give me that, 'you reminded me of her and I couldn't bare it' bullcrap, this is the real world," I snapped.
He chuckled," No I wasn't going to say that, you are quite the opposite of her, you're strongwilled, independent and besides you get your looks from my side of the family... I was going to say, it was hard, I didn't know what you wanted, hell, I didn't even know how to act like a dad, I grew up in the system... I figured that if I gave you everything you ever wanted that would make up for my inability to be much of a father to you."
"As cliche as this sounds, I just wanted you to spend time with me, dad, I didn't really care about the money... till senior high," I smiled sadly,"Tell me one thing dad, if you didn't have cancer and a year to live, would you be here right now?"
I rolled over onto my back so I could see his reaction, he sat on the edge of my bed,obviously nervous and shaken.
"I thought so," I shook my head,"Just leave, I can't deal with this right now, I really am sorry that you have cancer and that you're dying, but I can't help feeling its another avenue for you to abandon me."
He began to say something but evidently changed his mind, the silent plea in his eyes almost broke my heart, but I looked away before I could get sucked in.
He shuffled out the door, but never made it, he fell with a soft thud onto my carpeted floor,"Dad!!"
I looked around panicking as I ran into the kitchen where Andre and Anne were making sandwiches,"He collapsed, he's on the floor... I was so... call 911."
I ran out before they could say anything in response, I heard Andre on the phone and Anne was gasping through tears as she ran towards me and my dad.I felt for his pulse with my shaky hands, it took a while for me to find it, but I did.
Anne lowered herself to her knees and wept like a baby, she evidently still loved him very much, I put a comforting arm on her shoulder but she shrugged it off,"Don't touch me you selfish little brat, you always find a way to make everything about you, your father was dying and all you could do was whine about an empty chilhood rather than trying to get the best out of his last days,he was trying to make up for it, if he dies now I will never forgive you."
The creepy thing here was that, she wasn't kidding...
"Cut it out, will you?!" I screamed at the top of my voice,"All of you."
I could see surprise etched accross everyone's face, I can't blame them, I had just been told that my dad was dying and all I could do was scream like a little bitch.
Anne walked over to me and placed an arm on my shoulder,"Whats the matter love?"
I shrugged her hand off and paced for a while, running my fingers through my hair compulsively, then I finally gave in as warm tears rolled down my cheeks,"You always find a way to come out looking like the good guy, don't you..."
"Myra..." he begun.
"No let me speak!" I screamed at him, I could see the blood drain out of Andre's face,"I think I should go, this seems like a family issue," Andre muttered as he began to walk out.
"Sit your ass down," I shouted at him,"You're more like family to me than he will ever be."
Andre knew what was good for him, he glanced apologetically at my father then sat down at the kitchen table. I could see raw confusion written all over my dad's face,but nevertheless he stood there silently.
"All my life, I've craved your attention, I've wanted you to be there for me, not your stupid money..."
"My stupid money gave you a good life Myra, what more could you want?" He questioned.
"I wanted a father, like most girls... making your stupid money was an excuse to be away from me, I never really understood why you did it dad, but by the time I was old enough to stop caring I did it and now out of the blues, you happen to be dying so you want to rekindle family ties, you want to make things better... I've got a shocker for you dad, no amount of cancer is making me give you that chance, you had your chance and you blew it," I walked out feeling like the most insensitive human being in the world, I didn't even know where that came from all I knew is that it felt pretty darn good.I could hear Anne"s teary voice behind me,"Oh my God, I truly didn't see that coming, I'll go talk to her."
I didn't hear the rest of what they said because I had slammed my door and locked myself in, I never realised how hurt I was by my father's absense in my life, I always wondered why people bothered, it was quite fun when I had no step mothers trying to pry into my life,but obviously there was a time I cared, it all ended on my 7th birthday, my dad had been promising to take me to Disneyland all year, I had bragged about it at school, I had talked to my pet cat about it, I even started watching Disney cartoons ,which I hates, because of it. A day to my birthday he had a business meeting in London, I heard him leaving in the middle of the night like a thief, he told his assistant to take me to disney land, I didn't go. What he never understood was that I hated Disney productions and Disneyland, I hadn't been bragging about Disneyland all year, I was in a rich kid school so no one gave a rat's ass about Disney land. I was bragging about the fact that my dad was gonna take a day off to spend time with me in Disneyland. Tears ran down my cheeks as I remembered my 7year old self throwing her disney cartoon collection out the window, that was the day I stopped caring and now he came out of the blues to tell me that all he had to give me, all he had to make up for all that lost time was 'less than a year'? I wiped my tears and lay down on my bed, curling myself up in a fetal position. There was a soft knock on my door, I sniffed a little,"Go away, whoever you are."
"Sweetheart its me," My dad said calmly, but from the slight shake in his voice I could tell he had been crying, I felt a slight pang of regret as I got up to open the door for him.
He walked in slowly and closed the door behind him as I flung myself on my bed and resumed my moping.
"I know I wasn't the best father you could find and I don't expect you to understand why I did what I did, but after your mother died..."
"Don't give me that, 'you reminded me of her and I couldn't bare it' bullcrap, this is the real world," I snapped.
He chuckled," No I wasn't going to say that, you are quite the opposite of her, you're strongwilled, independent and besides you get your looks from my side of the family... I was going to say, it was hard, I didn't know what you wanted, hell, I didn't even know how to act like a dad, I grew up in the system... I figured that if I gave you everything you ever wanted that would make up for my inability to be much of a father to you."
"As cliche as this sounds, I just wanted you to spend time with me, dad, I didn't really care about the money... till senior high," I smiled sadly,"Tell me one thing dad, if you didn't have cancer and a year to live, would you be here right now?"
I rolled over onto my back so I could see his reaction, he sat on the edge of my bed,obviously nervous and shaken.
"I thought so," I shook my head,"Just leave, I can't deal with this right now, I really am sorry that you have cancer and that you're dying, but I can't help feeling its another avenue for you to abandon me."
He began to say something but evidently changed his mind, the silent plea in his eyes almost broke my heart, but I looked away before I could get sucked in.
He shuffled out the door, but never made it, he fell with a soft thud onto my carpeted floor,"Dad!!"
I looked around panicking as I ran into the kitchen where Andre and Anne were making sandwiches,"He collapsed, he's on the floor... I was so... call 911."
I ran out before they could say anything in response, I heard Andre on the phone and Anne was gasping through tears as she ran towards me and my dad.I felt for his pulse with my shaky hands, it took a while for me to find it, but I did.
Anne lowered herself to her knees and wept like a baby, she evidently still loved him very much, I put a comforting arm on her shoulder but she shrugged it off,"Don't touch me you selfish little brat, you always find a way to make everything about you, your father was dying and all you could do was whine about an empty chilhood rather than trying to get the best out of his last days,he was trying to make up for it, if he dies now I will never forgive you."
The creepy thing here was that, she wasn't kidding...
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Reunion
The cool evening breeze blew in through my window, I smiled as I recollected the happenings of the day, I didn't want to open my eyes in case it was a dream, but eventually I did... and I instantly wished I kept them shut. Dammit!!! I looked around, there was no sign of Andre, I was fully clothed and the bedsheets were still on the bed. What the hell happened?!.I jumped up and searched the room again, but what kind of creep would dress me up and put everything back in place? My heart fell, this was not fair.
I walked out into my living room, Andre was still slumped on the couch... in the same awkward position I left him in!!! Its all coming back to me now, I went to get him the aspirin, he took it, we had the awkward stare-down, I pushed him back onto the couch and when I was about to kiss him, he fell asleep!!As if that wasn't awkward enough, I had to go and dream up a whole steamy session of carnal pleasures. I heard someone in the kitchen,it was probably Anne eating everything in sight," Hey, glutton, leave some for the rest of us."
"Is that how what the kids call people like me nowadays?"
That wasn't Anne's voice, It wasn't Maureen's either, it was...
"Hi dad..." I walked over and hugged him.
"Hey doll face," he kissed the top of my head affectionately.
I smiled up at him," So what are you doing here and who let you in? I'm guessing 'not Anne'?"
"Your drunk boyfriend let me in, then he blacked out immediately..." he smiled, then his smile faded,"How is Anne?"
"Find out yourself," Anne said from the doorway,"Hello Nigel."
Anne walked in calmly, she looked radiant, I knew she had heard dad's voice in her room because she had full make up on, and she was wearing a cute T-shirt that showed a vague but tempting outline of her curves," I'll be in the next room."
"No stay!!" they both shouted at the same time.
Wow, where were the dress rehearsals and why wasn't I informed? It was like they practiced their lines accompanied by the 'intimidating parent' look.
"Okay," I answered obediently,"So... who wants breakfast?"
"I do," Andre called out from the living room.
"Get your drunk ass in here, pardon my language daddy," I laughed nervously, this was more awkward than the stare down with Andre. I needed moral support, even if it had a hangover.My dad just smiled at me knowingly.
"So, Nigel... why the surprise visit? You have a business meeting around here, cuz if I remember correctly that's the only way anyone can see you these days," Anne smiled sarcastically.
"Hey break it off people," Andre said as he walked into the kitchen,"Hey Nigel."
"Wait, you guys know each other?" Anne and I asked at the same time. Yaaaay! I was invited to the dress rehearsal after all.
"Yeah we were business partners," Andre joked, but no one laughed, apart from me because I was kissing up,"too soon?"
"I had him investigated and I meet him for a few drinks now and then," my dad stated.
I just looked at him blankly, he always did this and there was no stopping him just because I was an heiress to a multi-billion dollar estate... arrghhhh.
I looked at Andre apologetically but he seemed to be enjoying the awkwardness.
"Really, you treat your daughter like a business asset,what is wrong with you Nigel??!" Anne seemed really worked up.
"Sweety..." I started.
"No, Myra I have to tell him this... I have to ask him What the heck he's doing here after all this time?!" Andre and I are visibly shaken by the anger in her voice.Well someone has been bottling up their feelings...
"You wanna know? You really wanna know everything Anne, why I wasn't around so much towards the end? I'm dying Anne, I have a tumor in my brain and its killing me, I didn't want to worry anyone till I had it under control, but now I have less than a year left... are you happy now the cat is out of the bag?!" Tears ran down my father's cheeks.
We all stared in horror... I want to put the cat back in the bag...
I walked out into my living room, Andre was still slumped on the couch... in the same awkward position I left him in!!! Its all coming back to me now, I went to get him the aspirin, he took it, we had the awkward stare-down, I pushed him back onto the couch and when I was about to kiss him, he fell asleep!!As if that wasn't awkward enough, I had to go and dream up a whole steamy session of carnal pleasures. I heard someone in the kitchen,it was probably Anne eating everything in sight," Hey, glutton, leave some for the rest of us."
"Is that how what the kids call people like me nowadays?"
That wasn't Anne's voice, It wasn't Maureen's either, it was...
"Hi dad..." I walked over and hugged him.
"Hey doll face," he kissed the top of my head affectionately.
I smiled up at him," So what are you doing here and who let you in? I'm guessing 'not Anne'?"
"Your drunk boyfriend let me in, then he blacked out immediately..." he smiled, then his smile faded,"How is Anne?"
"Find out yourself," Anne said from the doorway,"Hello Nigel."
Anne walked in calmly, she looked radiant, I knew she had heard dad's voice in her room because she had full make up on, and she was wearing a cute T-shirt that showed a vague but tempting outline of her curves," I'll be in the next room."
"No stay!!" they both shouted at the same time.
Wow, where were the dress rehearsals and why wasn't I informed? It was like they practiced their lines accompanied by the 'intimidating parent' look.
"Okay," I answered obediently,"So... who wants breakfast?"
"I do," Andre called out from the living room.
"Get your drunk ass in here, pardon my language daddy," I laughed nervously, this was more awkward than the stare down with Andre. I needed moral support, even if it had a hangover.My dad just smiled at me knowingly.
"So, Nigel... why the surprise visit? You have a business meeting around here, cuz if I remember correctly that's the only way anyone can see you these days," Anne smiled sarcastically.
"Hey break it off people," Andre said as he walked into the kitchen,"Hey Nigel."
"Wait, you guys know each other?" Anne and I asked at the same time. Yaaaay! I was invited to the dress rehearsal after all.
"Yeah we were business partners," Andre joked, but no one laughed, apart from me because I was kissing up,"too soon?"
"I had him investigated and I meet him for a few drinks now and then," my dad stated.
I just looked at him blankly, he always did this and there was no stopping him just because I was an heiress to a multi-billion dollar estate... arrghhhh.
I looked at Andre apologetically but he seemed to be enjoying the awkwardness.
"Really, you treat your daughter like a business asset,what is wrong with you Nigel??!" Anne seemed really worked up.
"Sweety..." I started.
"No, Myra I have to tell him this... I have to ask him What the heck he's doing here after all this time?!" Andre and I are visibly shaken by the anger in her voice.Well someone has been bottling up their feelings...
"You wanna know? You really wanna know everything Anne, why I wasn't around so much towards the end? I'm dying Anne, I have a tumor in my brain and its killing me, I didn't want to worry anyone till I had it under control, but now I have less than a year left... are you happy now the cat is out of the bag?!" Tears ran down my father's cheeks.
We all stared in horror... I want to put the cat back in the bag...
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Hang-over in shining armour
Dinner and drinks last night with the guys turned out to be less awkward than I expected it to be, Maureen babbled on and on about some banker she bumped into at the (suprise!!!) bank. He's a divorcee with a 6yr old daughter who's birthday is next week... notice how that sounds like something a broken record would repeat over and over again, thats because Maureen kept drumming it into our ears, everytime there was a little awkward silence, there she was,"Did I tell you guys about the banker I met at the bank? He's a divorcee with a 6yr old daughter who's birthday is next week." Well as you must have noticed by now my opening statement was just me and my wishful thinking. It was AWKWARD, Maureen was obsessing over her 'banker in the bank', Anne was staring at Andre and I creepily and Andre(our usual designated driver) was throwing shots down his throat like he had been born to do it. I ended up driving everyone home, which was quite unusual because the cup for 'most wasted' usually goes to me.
Its a warm sunday afternoon and I did not have a hangover,I was tempted to drink all the beer in the frigde till I was in a drunken frenzy, but drinking alone sucks and Anne was fast asleep. I picked up my phone and began to dial Clark's number, but who was I kidding, after making him walk a block with nothing but a hand towel covering his 'very vital' vitals, he'd be a fool to pick up my call, even if it was for a booty call. I raked a frustrated hand through my hair, here I was wide awake and fully dressed, with no hangover to nurse and no one to call. I suddenly missed the old Andre, he would have known what to do, he would have...
KNOCK, KNOCK... I flew off the couch at the sound of knocking, I mean in this era of doorbells who knocked?
"A minute!!" I screamed a little too loud.
I walked over and unlocked the door, I felt a little flutter of happiness in the pit of my stomach, at least I wouldn't be bored, the flutter stopped when I saw who it was.
"I asked him where he lived and he said it was here, you're Myra right?" The cute blonde in front of me asked sweetly as she tried her best to steady a drunk Andre.
"Yeah, and he stays here, with me..." I answered possesively," Over here Dre." I cooed softly as we both led him to the couch, with tremendous effort.
"Have you met Kim?" He smiled sweetly at me.
I couldn't help smiling back at him, as I was about to answer him he said to Kim,"She's my bestfriend and she thought I was gay can you believe that, after..."
"Umm, okay Kim, I can take it from here," I interupted abruptly, I really didn't want to know what he and Kim did,"Thank you for bringing him home."
Kim obviously got the message because she was out of my house faster than I could imagine.
I walked over and locked my door, then I went to the kitchen to get him a glass of water, to my suprise he was sitting upright on the couch and cradling his head in his hands. I knew he was having a killer headache so I went to my room to get him some aspirins,"Here you go kiddo, now I know why you don't drink as much as the rest of us."
He smiled weakly as he gulped down the water and later remembered to put the aspirins in his mouth. It was cute. Ever notice how you never have feelings for someone till you know they have feelings for you, well this is a serious case of it. I feel like I just met Andre, I see him in a new, totally sexy light.
"I'm sorry about this, I could leave..." he began to stand up but was too unsteady to make it all the way.
"Sit down Dre, infact lie down, trust me, i'm the hangover expert," I pushed him all the way down and sat on a side stool so I could be near him,"What kind of bestfriend would I be if I let you go home in this condition?"
He smiled weakly,"You mean that?"
"Yes I do."
He propped himself on his elbow and stared at me, did I tell you last night was awkward? I take that back, this was more than awkward I tell you.I just stared back and when I couldn't take it anymore(7 minutes later, yes people we played eye wars for 7 long as minutes) I pushed him on his back and planted my lips on his. Apart from wanting to do this since the last time we kissed,it was the only thing I could think of. He responded instantly, our lips played a game they both knew all too well. At their own accord my fingers began unbuttoning his shirt, I think I popped a button or two(well it was for a good cause), he practically tore off my t-shirt, apparently its nearly impossible to take off each others clothes at the same time.
"Lets take this to your bedroom, Anne could walk out any minute," he whispered on my lips.
Apparently horniness beats drunkeness because he lifted me off my feet and carried me into the bedroom,thats all for now folks, I have some work to do...
Its a warm sunday afternoon and I did not have a hangover,I was tempted to drink all the beer in the frigde till I was in a drunken frenzy, but drinking alone sucks and Anne was fast asleep. I picked up my phone and began to dial Clark's number, but who was I kidding, after making him walk a block with nothing but a hand towel covering his 'very vital' vitals, he'd be a fool to pick up my call, even if it was for a booty call. I raked a frustrated hand through my hair, here I was wide awake and fully dressed, with no hangover to nurse and no one to call. I suddenly missed the old Andre, he would have known what to do, he would have...
KNOCK, KNOCK... I flew off the couch at the sound of knocking, I mean in this era of doorbells who knocked?
"A minute!!" I screamed a little too loud.
I walked over and unlocked the door, I felt a little flutter of happiness in the pit of my stomach, at least I wouldn't be bored, the flutter stopped when I saw who it was.
"I asked him where he lived and he said it was here, you're Myra right?" The cute blonde in front of me asked sweetly as she tried her best to steady a drunk Andre.
"Yeah, and he stays here, with me..." I answered possesively," Over here Dre." I cooed softly as we both led him to the couch, with tremendous effort.
"Have you met Kim?" He smiled sweetly at me.
I couldn't help smiling back at him, as I was about to answer him he said to Kim,"She's my bestfriend and she thought I was gay can you believe that, after..."
"Umm, okay Kim, I can take it from here," I interupted abruptly, I really didn't want to know what he and Kim did,"Thank you for bringing him home."
Kim obviously got the message because she was out of my house faster than I could imagine.
I walked over and locked my door, then I went to the kitchen to get him a glass of water, to my suprise he was sitting upright on the couch and cradling his head in his hands. I knew he was having a killer headache so I went to my room to get him some aspirins,"Here you go kiddo, now I know why you don't drink as much as the rest of us."
He smiled weakly as he gulped down the water and later remembered to put the aspirins in his mouth. It was cute. Ever notice how you never have feelings for someone till you know they have feelings for you, well this is a serious case of it. I feel like I just met Andre, I see him in a new, totally sexy light.
"I'm sorry about this, I could leave..." he began to stand up but was too unsteady to make it all the way.
"Sit down Dre, infact lie down, trust me, i'm the hangover expert," I pushed him all the way down and sat on a side stool so I could be near him,"What kind of bestfriend would I be if I let you go home in this condition?"
He smiled weakly,"You mean that?"
"Yes I do."
He propped himself on his elbow and stared at me, did I tell you last night was awkward? I take that back, this was more than awkward I tell you.I just stared back and when I couldn't take it anymore(7 minutes later, yes people we played eye wars for 7 long as minutes) I pushed him on his back and planted my lips on his. Apart from wanting to do this since the last time we kissed,it was the only thing I could think of. He responded instantly, our lips played a game they both knew all too well. At their own accord my fingers began unbuttoning his shirt, I think I popped a button or two(well it was for a good cause), he practically tore off my t-shirt, apparently its nearly impossible to take off each others clothes at the same time.
"Lets take this to your bedroom, Anne could walk out any minute," he whispered on my lips.
Apparently horniness beats drunkeness because he lifted me off my feet and carried me into the bedroom,thats all for now folks, I have some work to do...
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Invade or evade...
It was Saturday, a very busy day in the event planning sector, I was up by 5am, even though I was meant to be at the office by 8am. I'm a woman and I wanted an allegedly gay guy, so I was gonna have to dress to kill, so I needed the extra time. By 7.35, I still hadn't figured out a match, everything I picked either screamed 'ravish me here right now' or 'here Andre, look at me'... In frustration I picked a pair of trousers, a camisole and a cropped jacket, then I shoved my feet into a pair of gladiator sandals.
I walked into the office slowly, there were butterflies in my stomac and I felt lightheaded, I knew I couldn't face him yet so I ran to Maureen's office and knocked on the door shakily.
"Door's open," she called out casually.
I opened the door and walked in hurriedly,"Maureen, could I stay here for a while, I want to, eeerrrrrm..."
"You're avoiding him aren't you?" She asked in a concerned tone.
I nodded like a child, O Lord this was highschool all over again, why couldn't I just walk upto him and talk to him about it all? (Cuz, ummmn, highschool never ends.
"How could you not know he had the hots for you all these years? I mean I just met you guys and I knew, hell even Anne knew," she giggled.
"Hellllllo, Andre told me he was gay!!"
"Gay schmay, he looks at you like he's lost in the Sahara and you're water, he puts up with your girl drama, he's always picking your side even when you're obviously wrong and when you tell him to pretend to be your boyfriend in clubs and pubs, his face lights up like a christmas tree. How blind are you?"
I just stood there, I had never noticed all this,I just thought it was bestfriend benefits, plus I was too stuck up and caught up with my issues to even notice that much. I looked at Maureen nervously, she just cocked an eyebrow amd waited for my answer,"So you set him up, yesterday in the bathroom?"
She smiled smuggly,"Yeah, I told him I could prove he was straight, he protested, I called him chicken and he kissed me, I love how he feels the need to prove himself when you call him a chicken."
"Are'nt you just..."
"Maureen, can I chill in here for a second I..." Andre walked in, he stopped talking when he noticed I was in the room.
"Oh would you look at that, my cell is ringing,I've got to take this," Maureen walked out hurriedly.
"Should we call her back to get her cell?" I laughed nervously.
"No, lets allow her to figure that one out so she can beat herself up about it," he smiled back. I wanted to kiss the smile off his face, I wanted to kiss him till he couldn't use his lips for anything else, I wanted to...
"So, you're early today,"he commented.
"Yeahhh, rough night, you know how it is when I break up with Clark?" I almost hit myself in the face, what the hell was that?
"Yeah," he frowned slightly.
"So..." we both said at the same time.
"You go first," I said hurriedly.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, why not?" I answered impatiently, I really wanted to hear what he had to say.
"Ok, here it goes, I'm really sorry about yesterday Myra, I was ouy of line and I was angry, I really took it to the extreme trying to get you to believe I was gay, it was only cuz everyone thought I was back in college and when you did too I just played along, I told myself I would tell you the truth about everything, how I felt, but I thought you would hate me..."
"Andre..." I began, but he cut me off.
"No listen, I know you don't feel the same way and I understand, I just hope we can still be friends?" he asked.
"Ummmn, yeah, why not," I gave my best fake smile.
"What were you gonna say?" he asked innocently.
"Just what you said, about being friends," I answered, my heart sank as we hugged briefly thenhe walked out of the room, bumping into Maureen who was eavesdropping. he smiled at her briefly and went to his office.
"What is wrong with you?!" Maureen bellowed,"you screwed up".
"I know and I'm killing myself when I get home today, what was I thinking?" I bit my lip nervously.
"Don't beat yourself up, Anne and I will do that for you after work today, now go make me some money, Gretchen's bridal shower isn't gonna plan itself," she shooed me out of her office.
The day sped by fortunately, I avoided Andre with all my might and I think he did th e same. We finally saw eachother in Maureen's office where we all met after work, I would be the greatest liar/actress of all time if I could act normal for this one, ladies and gentlemen, introducing the greatest liar/actress of all time...
I walked into the office slowly, there were butterflies in my stomac and I felt lightheaded, I knew I couldn't face him yet so I ran to Maureen's office and knocked on the door shakily.
"Door's open," she called out casually.
I opened the door and walked in hurriedly,"Maureen, could I stay here for a while, I want to, eeerrrrrm..."
"You're avoiding him aren't you?" She asked in a concerned tone.
I nodded like a child, O Lord this was highschool all over again, why couldn't I just walk upto him and talk to him about it all? (Cuz, ummmn, highschool never ends.
"How could you not know he had the hots for you all these years? I mean I just met you guys and I knew, hell even Anne knew," she giggled.
"Hellllllo, Andre told me he was gay!!"
"Gay schmay, he looks at you like he's lost in the Sahara and you're water, he puts up with your girl drama, he's always picking your side even when you're obviously wrong and when you tell him to pretend to be your boyfriend in clubs and pubs, his face lights up like a christmas tree. How blind are you?"
I just stood there, I had never noticed all this,I just thought it was bestfriend benefits, plus I was too stuck up and caught up with my issues to even notice that much. I looked at Maureen nervously, she just cocked an eyebrow amd waited for my answer,"So you set him up, yesterday in the bathroom?"
She smiled smuggly,"Yeah, I told him I could prove he was straight, he protested, I called him chicken and he kissed me, I love how he feels the need to prove himself when you call him a chicken."
"Are'nt you just..."
"Maureen, can I chill in here for a second I..." Andre walked in, he stopped talking when he noticed I was in the room.
"Oh would you look at that, my cell is ringing,I've got to take this," Maureen walked out hurriedly.
"Should we call her back to get her cell?" I laughed nervously.
"No, lets allow her to figure that one out so she can beat herself up about it," he smiled back. I wanted to kiss the smile off his face, I wanted to kiss him till he couldn't use his lips for anything else, I wanted to...
"So, you're early today,"he commented.
"Yeahhh, rough night, you know how it is when I break up with Clark?" I almost hit myself in the face, what the hell was that?
"Yeah," he frowned slightly.
"So..." we both said at the same time.
"You go first," I said hurriedly.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, why not?" I answered impatiently, I really wanted to hear what he had to say.
"Ok, here it goes, I'm really sorry about yesterday Myra, I was ouy of line and I was angry, I really took it to the extreme trying to get you to believe I was gay, it was only cuz everyone thought I was back in college and when you did too I just played along, I told myself I would tell you the truth about everything, how I felt, but I thought you would hate me..."
"Andre..." I began, but he cut me off.
"No listen, I know you don't feel the same way and I understand, I just hope we can still be friends?" he asked.
"Ummmn, yeah, why not," I gave my best fake smile.
"What were you gonna say?" he asked innocently.
"Just what you said, about being friends," I answered, my heart sank as we hugged briefly thenhe walked out of the room, bumping into Maureen who was eavesdropping. he smiled at her briefly and went to his office.
"What is wrong with you?!" Maureen bellowed,"you screwed up".
"I know and I'm killing myself when I get home today, what was I thinking?" I bit my lip nervously.
"Don't beat yourself up, Anne and I will do that for you after work today, now go make me some money, Gretchen's bridal shower isn't gonna plan itself," she shooed me out of her office.
The day sped by fortunately, I avoided Andre with all my might and I think he did th e same. We finally saw eachother in Maureen's office where we all met after work, I would be the greatest liar/actress of all time if I could act normal for this one, ladies and gentlemen, introducing the greatest liar/actress of all time...
Friday, October 22, 2010
Skeletons in the 'closet'
We stood there staring, none of us had the strength to say a word, neither did we have a clue of what to say, we just stood there mesmerized in the awkwardness of the moment. Anne broke the silence with a great big fart,"Ahhh, Anne thats disgusting, a smile twitched at my lips,but I didn't want to cheat on the intensity of the moment with my laughter.
"Good one Anne,"Clark smiled as they did some sort of secret handshake that ended with them making farting noises with their mouths.
We all burst into laughter, forgetting the situation that lay before us for a split second,then suddenly it hit me like a stray bullet,"So how long has this been going on?"
The room went quiet, I could hear imaginary crickets...we all burst into laughter again.
"Its not what it looks like,"Andre spat out through the laughter.
"I was choking," Maureen added.
"Ya and you were using your tongue to get her to stop and your hands on her boobs thats for the choking too?" I asked Andre, instantly feeling betrayed, I mean I was his bestfriend and if he wasn't really gay, I deserved to know. The laughter had died down and I walked out leaving them entwined in their compromising embrace. I knew Andre was right behind me, but I ignored him and walked into the kitchen pretending to look for a bottle of chilled water.
"You won't find any chilled water outside the fridge," he suggested.
"Stop it!" I snapped.
"Stop what?" He shrugged.
"Reading my mind, you have no right you know, if u can't tell me any of your secrets don't read my mind," I glared at him.
"No one has to read your mind Myra, you're hungover and you're doing that cute thing you do with your mouth when you're thirsty," he smiled weakly.
"Just leave me alone Andre, I really can't be near you right now, I can't believe you didn't tell me something this big, I thought we were best friends," I shook my head repeatedly as I opened the fridge and pretended to search for water even though it was right under my nose. He just stood there and I could feel the intensity of his gaze burning into the small of my back. I grabbed the bottle and walked upto him, close enough for him to see tears glistening in my eyes,"I really don't know what you were scared of, that I wouldn't accept you if you were straight or bi? For God's sake Andre..."
He grabbed my face and cradled it between his arms as he jammed his lips on mine, I was so shocked I kept my mouth closed,(it was my first kiss all over again,hey cut me some slack,I was a high school geek)he gently yet forcefully pried my lips open with his tongue and thats when my mouth came to life, our lips moved over eachother hungrily, it was so unreal, I'd never felt this way over a kiss, just as I was getting really into it, he pulled away and looked into my eyes(more like into my soul),"Hows that for something big?"
Then he just spun on his heel and walked out, scattered hair rumpled clothes and all, all I could do was stare after him yearningly.
Maureen walked in, fully dressed, a pang of jealousy washed over me.She was closely followed by Anne and Clark, who was still clad in my bed covers.
"If I had known that kissing Andre would finally get him to tell you how he feels, hell I would have done it a long time ago... he's a good kisser, but he does use too much tongue right?" Maureen cooed,"Too soon?"
"Waaaaaaay too soon Maureen,"Anne smiled.
"Oh my bad,I'm outta here,"She hugged everyone in the room before walking out, yaa of course including me, pang of jealousy gone.
"Wait, he kissed her?"Clark actually looked threatened.
"Shut up Clark," Anne smiled at me as she went to her room.
"Did he..."
"Shut up Clark," I dragged my covers off him," and get out."
I felt so fulfilled as I locked my bedroom door and flung his clothes two stories down,"Your clothes are waiting for you downstairs Zeus, now lets see you work that body."
I can hear him screaming and banging but I'm lost in my own world,my whole adult life I'd been looking for a man that understood me,knew who I really was and appreciated me and all of my adult life, I thought he was gay...
"Good one Anne,"Clark smiled as they did some sort of secret handshake that ended with them making farting noises with their mouths.
We all burst into laughter, forgetting the situation that lay before us for a split second,then suddenly it hit me like a stray bullet,"So how long has this been going on?"
The room went quiet, I could hear imaginary crickets...we all burst into laughter again.
"Its not what it looks like,"Andre spat out through the laughter.
"I was choking," Maureen added.
"Ya and you were using your tongue to get her to stop and your hands on her boobs thats for the choking too?" I asked Andre, instantly feeling betrayed, I mean I was his bestfriend and if he wasn't really gay, I deserved to know. The laughter had died down and I walked out leaving them entwined in their compromising embrace. I knew Andre was right behind me, but I ignored him and walked into the kitchen pretending to look for a bottle of chilled water.
"You won't find any chilled water outside the fridge," he suggested.
"Stop it!" I snapped.
"Stop what?" He shrugged.
"Reading my mind, you have no right you know, if u can't tell me any of your secrets don't read my mind," I glared at him.
"No one has to read your mind Myra, you're hungover and you're doing that cute thing you do with your mouth when you're thirsty," he smiled weakly.
"Just leave me alone Andre, I really can't be near you right now, I can't believe you didn't tell me something this big, I thought we were best friends," I shook my head repeatedly as I opened the fridge and pretended to search for water even though it was right under my nose. He just stood there and I could feel the intensity of his gaze burning into the small of my back. I grabbed the bottle and walked upto him, close enough for him to see tears glistening in my eyes,"I really don't know what you were scared of, that I wouldn't accept you if you were straight or bi? For God's sake Andre..."
He grabbed my face and cradled it between his arms as he jammed his lips on mine, I was so shocked I kept my mouth closed,(it was my first kiss all over again,hey cut me some slack,I was a high school geek)he gently yet forcefully pried my lips open with his tongue and thats when my mouth came to life, our lips moved over eachother hungrily, it was so unreal, I'd never felt this way over a kiss, just as I was getting really into it, he pulled away and looked into my eyes(more like into my soul),"Hows that for something big?"
Then he just spun on his heel and walked out, scattered hair rumpled clothes and all, all I could do was stare after him yearningly.
Maureen walked in, fully dressed, a pang of jealousy washed over me.She was closely followed by Anne and Clark, who was still clad in my bed covers.
"If I had known that kissing Andre would finally get him to tell you how he feels, hell I would have done it a long time ago... he's a good kisser, but he does use too much tongue right?" Maureen cooed,"Too soon?"
"Waaaaaaay too soon Maureen,"Anne smiled.
"Oh my bad,I'm outta here,"She hugged everyone in the room before walking out, yaa of course including me, pang of jealousy gone.
"Wait, he kissed her?"Clark actually looked threatened.
"Shut up Clark," Anne smiled at me as she went to her room.
"Did he..."
"Shut up Clark," I dragged my covers off him," and get out."
I felt so fulfilled as I locked my bedroom door and flung his clothes two stories down,"Your clothes are waiting for you downstairs Zeus, now lets see you work that body."
I can hear him screaming and banging but I'm lost in my own world,my whole adult life I'd been looking for a man that understood me,knew who I really was and appreciated me and all of my adult life, I thought he was gay...
Take em off
I woke up this morning and God knows I felt nothing like Pdiddy, Oh by the way thanks for giving me high hopes, Kesha.I had a horrid hangover and there was some guy in my bed,no not Andre, I checked.I walked into the bathroom sluggishly, trying to patch together the happenings of the previous night... "Oh shit!!!" I exclaimed,"Clark, ewwww, get up..."
"Stop shouting babe,it sounds like someone is playing guitar hero... ON MY EARDRUM,"he raised his voice slightly.
"Well I don't give... get up!"
He stood up carefully and let the covers drop dramatically, the words froze in my mouth and a new set took their place,"Get back on that bed before I change my mind."
He smiled wickedly and caught me as I flung myself on him...
Well guys, have you met Clark? He's my on and off 'Greek god' of a boyfriend. Why are we on and off? Well lemme just say, when there's more steam in the bedroom than from a steam engine, you've got yourself a problem folks. We have so much chemistry (and a whole lot of biology if you know what I mean)going on, but I wanted more, I wanted someone who actually remembered my birthday or at least knew what I did for a living, I don't know much about relationships but I know this much, that person ISN'T Clark.
"Well, that was..." I begun.
"Mind blowing,great, artistic...,"he interjected as he leaned in for a kiss as our lips met briefly,I caught my breath, then I pulled away and looked into his dreamy blue eyes.
"I was going to say uncalled for."
He sat up and propped himself on an elbow,"Well you called for it and if I recall you also called out my name."
"Stop having word sex with yourself Clark..."
"Hey, barbie... well h e l l o Ken," Maureen barged into my room wearing my lion king robe.
"Maureen!"I gasped as I bunched the covers upto my chin,"A little privacy would help."
"Ha!!! You two have lost the right to privacy after what you did last night, in the bar, in my car and on your doorstep,"with that she walked into my bathroom and picked my toothbrush,"you've also lost your toothbrush rights."
I shooed her away, I had alot more where the toothbrush came from. Once she was out I jumped out of bed and lurched for the nearest piece of clothing, in the process I fell over.
"Babe, I've seen you naked tons of times, why the rush?"he laughed.
"We all have, Lord grant me some amnesia,"Maureen walked into the room closely followed by Andre.
I just lay on the floor tangled in my clothes.
"Sorry, Anne used the other bathroom and its probably condemned for life, nice wax by the way,"Andre smiled.
"Andre!!!" Clark and I gasped.
"What?? I meant your legs, he hurriedly followed Maureen into the bathroom.
"I didn't condemn the bathroom, stop making me... oh hi Clark," Anne walked into my room absentmindedly.
"Hello Anne,"Clark smiled sweetly, I could see he had made himself comfortable.
I just shook my head warily and threw on a T-shirt as they chattered on. I smiled briefly at the thought of my crazy friends, what would I do without..."HOLY SHIT!"
"I didn't do it," Anne called as she ran to see what I was so upset about, Clark Bunched the covers around his waist and wobbled over. You as curious as I think you are...? Hehehehe...
"Stop shouting babe,it sounds like someone is playing guitar hero... ON MY EARDRUM,"he raised his voice slightly.
"Well I don't give... get up!"
He stood up carefully and let the covers drop dramatically, the words froze in my mouth and a new set took their place,"Get back on that bed before I change my mind."
He smiled wickedly and caught me as I flung myself on him...
Well guys, have you met Clark? He's my on and off 'Greek god' of a boyfriend. Why are we on and off? Well lemme just say, when there's more steam in the bedroom than from a steam engine, you've got yourself a problem folks. We have so much chemistry (and a whole lot of biology if you know what I mean)going on, but I wanted more, I wanted someone who actually remembered my birthday or at least knew what I did for a living, I don't know much about relationships but I know this much, that person ISN'T Clark.
"Well, that was..." I begun.
"Mind blowing,great, artistic...,"he interjected as he leaned in for a kiss as our lips met briefly,I caught my breath, then I pulled away and looked into his dreamy blue eyes.
"I was going to say uncalled for."
He sat up and propped himself on an elbow,"Well you called for it and if I recall you also called out my name."
"Stop having word sex with yourself Clark..."
"Hey, barbie... well h e l l o Ken," Maureen barged into my room wearing my lion king robe.
"Maureen!"I gasped as I bunched the covers upto my chin,"A little privacy would help."
"Ha!!! You two have lost the right to privacy after what you did last night, in the bar, in my car and on your doorstep,"with that she walked into my bathroom and picked my toothbrush,"you've also lost your toothbrush rights."
I shooed her away, I had alot more where the toothbrush came from. Once she was out I jumped out of bed and lurched for the nearest piece of clothing, in the process I fell over.
"Babe, I've seen you naked tons of times, why the rush?"he laughed.
"We all have, Lord grant me some amnesia,"Maureen walked into the room closely followed by Andre.
I just lay on the floor tangled in my clothes.
"Sorry, Anne used the other bathroom and its probably condemned for life, nice wax by the way,"Andre smiled.
"Andre!!!" Clark and I gasped.
"What?? I meant your legs, he hurriedly followed Maureen into the bathroom.
"I didn't condemn the bathroom, stop making me... oh hi Clark," Anne walked into my room absentmindedly.
"Hello Anne,"Clark smiled sweetly, I could see he had made himself comfortable.
I just shook my head warily and threw on a T-shirt as they chattered on. I smiled briefly at the thought of my crazy friends, what would I do without..."HOLY SHIT!"
"I didn't do it," Anne called as she ran to see what I was so upset about, Clark Bunched the covers around his waist and wobbled over. You as curious as I think you are...? Hehehehe...
Monday, October 18, 2010
Maureen
Sooooo, Maureen, what can I say, she's my boss. I met her through a friend, actually Andre. He knew a guy who knew another guy who owed him one, so we got jobs at an upcoming event planning agency. Our boss was two steps away from 'CRAZY'. OK, that's just sugar coating it, Maureen is plain crazy. So one day, Annie came to pick me from work so we could head out to have dinner at the new Chinese restaurant in town, with Andre of course. Since it was after office hours, we made a whole lot of noise... believe me we didn't know we were attracting loads of attention. Then we saw her approaching, she had this stern look on her face, we were shit scared.
"Whats all the chatter about, huh?"
We stared back at her, fear written all over our faces, Andre summoned the courage to squeal an answer at her,"Ummmn, sorry Maureen, we won't do it again."
"No seriously guys," a smile spread across her face,"I heard something about weed, anyone got some?"
We stared at her some more but this time it was plain suprise gracing our faces, Anne cleared her throat an d answered,"Are you a cop?"
With that, Maureen burst into laughter, she laughed so hard we all started laughing without knowing what we were laughing at.
"What are u guys laughing at?" she snapped.
Our faces were as straight as Angelina Jolie's body from side view.
"Gotcha!!!" she started laughing again,"Well I was laughing because my family has serious issues with law enforcement of any kind, daddy got kicked out of the army, my brother has been in and out of juvie since he was old enough to go to juvie and me, I just hate that hot traffic lady on 24th street."
We all started laughing, she was hilarious!!!
I smiled at her,"Do you want to join us, we're going to that new chinese place near the mall?"
"Hell I was gonna join you whether you asked or not... I hope they have booze, cuz I need to unwind, those chinese brats need from uptown want us to do their birthday party again," she walked off to her office and gestured for us to wait.... we've been friends ever since.
"Whats all the chatter about, huh?"
We stared back at her, fear written all over our faces, Andre summoned the courage to squeal an answer at her,"Ummmn, sorry Maureen, we won't do it again."
"No seriously guys," a smile spread across her face,"I heard something about weed, anyone got some?"
We stared at her some more but this time it was plain suprise gracing our faces, Anne cleared her throat an d answered,"Are you a cop?"
With that, Maureen burst into laughter, she laughed so hard we all started laughing without knowing what we were laughing at.
"What are u guys laughing at?" she snapped.
Our faces were as straight as Angelina Jolie's body from side view.
"Gotcha!!!" she started laughing again,"Well I was laughing because my family has serious issues with law enforcement of any kind, daddy got kicked out of the army, my brother has been in and out of juvie since he was old enough to go to juvie and me, I just hate that hot traffic lady on 24th street."
We all started laughing, she was hilarious!!!
I smiled at her,"Do you want to join us, we're going to that new chinese place near the mall?"
"Hell I was gonna join you whether you asked or not... I hope they have booze, cuz I need to unwind, those chinese brats need from uptown want us to do their birthday party again," she walked off to her office and gestured for us to wait.... we've been friends ever since.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Annie...
Growing up with a very successful dad and no mum was very traumatizing for me, I saw my fair share of gold diggers and wanna-be mums. I thought no different of Annie, I mean she was my dad's youngest acquisition, roughly older than me. Imagine the horror of coming home for your 18th b day, from some boarding school that your stepmother sent you to only to meet your new step mother who is four years older than you. Yes, I freaked out, I'm human people. Well after kissing up to me for a month, Annie called me into her room one day, here comes the threat, I thought. She sat me down and looked into my eyes,"Look here sweety, I'm not trying to take your mother's place,I want to be your friend and if you don't want that I'm cool, but all this attitude... are you sure you're 18, I mean isn't it a tad bit tiring and babyish?"
She just made me feel like trash, no one did that, i waged a war against her but the more i fought, the more she simply ignored me. Well, you know the drill, I realised that I was a big baby and decided to give this one a chance... I didn't regret it, she was awesome and I think she was actually married to me, not my dad. ofcourse this pissed of his royal majesty, but what could he do? Scold her for getting through to his only child? Well he kinda did that... but much later though. So, like every normal kid, I went to college and got an apartment, graduated and got a job. I stayed away from home and kinda fell off the surface of the earth, till one boring and uneventful day. I had come home from a very sleepy day at the office, we actually had no customers that day. I got home and sank into the sofa, I was at that point before you slip into total sleep,you know the one, the little bridge between consciousness and sleep.. You know what I mean don't pretend, okay I give up. So, I was at that point and suddenly there was a knock on my door, I almost ignored it but it became as persistent as a bad boyfriend, you know, the ones who don't give you your space, the crazy ones with stalker tendencies? Well you get the gist, So I got up and went to open the door, I was so ready to make it rain fire and brimestone, but when I opened the door it was her, my best friend, my..."Mum?" The words left my lips before I registered them.We hugged for a whole 10 minutes(okay, thats impossible). She told me how it wasn't the same without me, cuz obviously her marriage to my dad ended when we became friends, it just took them a while to make it legal... Thus my bestfriend and stepmum is now my roomie, we have mad fun with my other mad friends.
She just made me feel like trash, no one did that, i waged a war against her but the more i fought, the more she simply ignored me. Well, you know the drill, I realised that I was a big baby and decided to give this one a chance... I didn't regret it, she was awesome and I think she was actually married to me, not my dad. ofcourse this pissed of his royal majesty, but what could he do? Scold her for getting through to his only child? Well he kinda did that... but much later though. So, like every normal kid, I went to college and got an apartment, graduated and got a job. I stayed away from home and kinda fell off the surface of the earth, till one boring and uneventful day. I had come home from a very sleepy day at the office, we actually had no customers that day. I got home and sank into the sofa, I was at that point before you slip into total sleep,you know the one, the little bridge between consciousness and sleep.. You know what I mean don't pretend, okay I give up. So, I was at that point and suddenly there was a knock on my door, I almost ignored it but it became as persistent as a bad boyfriend, you know, the ones who don't give you your space, the crazy ones with stalker tendencies? Well you get the gist, So I got up and went to open the door, I was so ready to make it rain fire and brimestone, but when I opened the door it was her, my best friend, my..."Mum?" The words left my lips before I registered them.We hugged for a whole 10 minutes(okay, thats impossible). She told me how it wasn't the same without me, cuz obviously her marriage to my dad ended when we became friends, it just took them a while to make it legal... Thus my bestfriend and stepmum is now my roomie, we have mad fun with my other mad friends.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Andre...
It was my 1st day of college,it turned out to be totally different from wat i expected.Dere were no frat boys out front checkin girls out and excessively using 'dude' in their sentences,dere were no mean girls waiting at d doors to mark their territory and dere were no scary looking,medieval professors.My 1st class was oral lit,I walked into d slightly crowded class and pounced on d 1st vacant seat I saw,d guy next to me just stared,"Is dere something on my face?I blurted out. "Apart from ur eyes,ur nose and ur mouth,not much,"he answered.I instantly took a liking to him,he had a sense of humor and he was FINE."I'm Myra,"I held out my hand."As he shook it,I made a mental note to ask him where he got his manicure done,"Andre,and I'm gay so u can walk away now."I was disappointed,but at d same time intriuged,"Andre?Are u french? He looked almost as suprised as I did,"No my dad decided to make me an object of public ridicule, he shud've just named me clown."And thus he became my bestfriend on d spot...
Welcome to my world
In d distance I cud hear d shriek of an alarm clock,unconsciously I rolled over to put an end to d anhilation of my eardrums.My hands met...I jumped off d bed wit speed dat superman wud envy.My mind raced,my head pounded and there was a man in my bed.I stared at my naked body in surprise den scrambled for my clothes,he didn't even budge and I didn't even bother to find out who he was as I began to creep out...Wait a minute..."PSYCH!"My stepmum, my boss and d guy on d bed, who happened to be Andre, my gay co- worker, all shouted.I Smiled at them,but only cuz I was used to their bullshit."U shud have seen ur face",Andre laughed as he put his shirt on,"and u rily need a bikini wax."I opened my mouth in mock surprise and watched as they all laughed and mimicked me.These were my closest frenz and this was their idea of a birthday gift.My stepmum,Annie, became my bestfrend after divorcin my dad 2yrs ago,my boss,Maureen,kinda forced herself on us,and Andre is my oda bestfrend.My name is Myra and this is my life.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Memories...
The sun was setting gradually, I didn't really know if I could go on, my surroundings held too many memories. Some were good, some were bad and some were just plain sick, but they were mine and they were precious. I looked up slowly, half expecting to be overwhelmed with unwanted emotions, but what I felt was different, it was refreshing like a breath of fresh air. I smiled sadly as I went down memory lane. It was my first day in a new school, in a new town, I was scared. I was never the sanguine one, more like an introvert, but I tried to fit in. I stood outside staring at the tall building that was my school willing it to disappear or just evaporate. My stare down with the wretched building was shortlived, I felt a rough nudge and then another one. I somewhat lost my balance and almost fell on my face, but moving around gave me some unwanted experience when it came to withstanding bullies. I looked around, two big kids that gave a new meaning to obesity towered above me. Gulping down wat was left of the saliva in my mouth, I braced myself for the worse.'Hey, pick on someone ur own size!!' A light voice sounded behind me. Great, all I needed now was a hero to make things worse. I was still standing there awaiting the worse, when I noticed that everyone had left the scene. I turned around to find a very scrawny boy, roughly my size, standing there. I looked at him in awe, wishing I knew his secret. He smiled at me knowingly,'I'm Jim, stick with me kid, I've got you'. From that day onward, I followed him everywhere. Last month he died,but my best and closest friend he remained. On his deathbed he whispered,'Remember what I said when we first met? Never forget it, remember that I've got u... always'. Staring at the playground I met him on suddenly made me feel better.It made me realise that what we had, some people never experienced, I was lucky to even know Jim.My arms tightened around around my swollen midriff as I hugged Jim's unborn child,'I've got you'.
Friday, July 30, 2010
My dream world...
Waking up every morning is the anti- climax of my life, my dreamworld is where I want to be, its where I fit in, its my only escape. Today wasn't any different, I still woke up feeling like crap, shivering inwardly as I began the rituals of the day. I brushed my teeth, had a quick bath and skipped breakfast as usual. 'In ur face mum, who's skipping breakfast now?' I muttered under my breath. I passed the same people on the road, saying hi without even looking at them, liking this lot was as impossible as flying without wings. I pulled the ends of my jacket tighter together as I neared my office. 'Ms Parker, you shouldn't be walking...', the doorman started. I hushed him with a wave of my hand, my agent was going to give me the speech anyway. I became some what successful, after writing some shitty novel by mistake, apparently people really liked shitty stuff. I pulled out my ipod and stuck the little earphones in my ear as I saw my agent approaching. His lips moved while I listened to Alicia Keys. When he was through, he left me and I walked into my cold, dark office. It mirrored what and how I felt inside. I practically flung myself on the sofa and tried to force myself to sleep, it was all I wanted to do. Most people's nightmares begin when they sleep, mine begun when I woke up. I sighed when I realised that I wasn't going to sleep, sitting up I raked a hand through my hair and let the tears flow. All I ever wanted was a world where I fit in, where people genuinely wanted me, where I didn't have to cry or sleep to escape from my nightmares. I thought that fame and wealth would give it to me, but apparently it makes it worse. The pretense, the politics... It was all too much for me. I was not one of the tough ones who was born with steel around their heart, protecting them from whoever or whatever wanted to hurt them. I had no defense mechanism and it killed me a little everyday. I had the life most people wanted and didn't even want it. I wanted my dreams...
Thursday, July 22, 2010
There's a stranger in my house?
I lifted my sweat drenched T-shirt and flung it carelessly into my laundry basket, sighing warily I moved ,as sluggishly as I could manage,to my dainty little kitchen. My eyes were fixed on the ground, it was an old habit I just couldn't shake off, so there I was clad in my jogging bra and my unusually baggy sweats,standing in my kitchen and staring at my dirty feet. I made my way around my little kitchen table, then I saw a pair of feet that weren't mine. At first I walked past, my brain not registering that the other pair of feet weren't meant to be there. I was in front of my archaic refrigerator when it hit me, there was a stranger in my house. I spun on my heel, even light would envy my speed at that moment, God knows I wasn't prepared for what I saw. I glared at the intruder willing my eyes to bore a hole through his head, but hey, this is the real world, we can only wish for stuff like that. My eyes asked silent questions which my voice box failed to produce. What are you doing here? Where were you all these years? How did you find me? Is Lindsey Lohan going to clean her act up? OK, that's besides the point... I just stood there like a dummy, this man was once my everything, I gave up everything for him and unless I was seeing ghosts, he faked his own death.
"I can explain," the low, husky voice that once rocked my world, filled every contour of the room.
I finally found my voice, and it was surprisingly calm,"I don't want to hear it, get out."
"Ridthi, Please..."
"Save it. Just get out, I can't handle this now, disappear, it seems to be your area of speciality." I winced at the harshness of my own words, I couldn't believe I was talking to Jerry like this. I made a mental note to hi-5 myself later on.
He was clearly as surprised as I was, because he just stood up and walked out,"I'll be back."
He didn't give me time to come up with a comeback, he just rushed out, I ran over to the window and watched him enter a black limo. A warm tear ran freely down my cheek, I tried my best to blink the rest back, but it was to no avail. Jerry was my half brother, he was older and wiser than me, that made it easy for him to dupe me of my entire trust fund and fake his own death.
I loved him like the elder brother I had lost to cancer, I looked up to him and I was devastated when I found out that he got kidnapped. I just found him, the 'bastard son' of my rich dad and a call girl. Of course daddy had denied him, but I was young, naive and determined to make it right. How stupid I was, smiling bitterly,I allowed my mind to take me further back in time. I emptied my trust fund and paid the ransom, only to hear that I was too late. There was an explosion, my life turned around that day, I alienated myself from the living members of my family and lived off a part time teaching job when I could have bought the school if I wanted. Now, 3 years later, he shows up on my doorstep, alive and well and still living off my trust fund... I sighed and wiped my tear soaked face, I picked up my cellphone and punched in some numbers..."Hello, daddy its Riri"...
"I can explain," the low, husky voice that once rocked my world, filled every contour of the room.
I finally found my voice, and it was surprisingly calm,"I don't want to hear it, get out."
"Ridthi, Please..."
"Save it. Just get out, I can't handle this now, disappear, it seems to be your area of speciality." I winced at the harshness of my own words, I couldn't believe I was talking to Jerry like this. I made a mental note to hi-5 myself later on.
He was clearly as surprised as I was, because he just stood up and walked out,"I'll be back."
He didn't give me time to come up with a comeback, he just rushed out, I ran over to the window and watched him enter a black limo. A warm tear ran freely down my cheek, I tried my best to blink the rest back, but it was to no avail. Jerry was my half brother, he was older and wiser than me, that made it easy for him to dupe me of my entire trust fund and fake his own death.
I loved him like the elder brother I had lost to cancer, I looked up to him and I was devastated when I found out that he got kidnapped. I just found him, the 'bastard son' of my rich dad and a call girl. Of course daddy had denied him, but I was young, naive and determined to make it right. How stupid I was, smiling bitterly,I allowed my mind to take me further back in time. I emptied my trust fund and paid the ransom, only to hear that I was too late. There was an explosion, my life turned around that day, I alienated myself from the living members of my family and lived off a part time teaching job when I could have bought the school if I wanted. Now, 3 years later, he shows up on my doorstep, alive and well and still living off my trust fund... I sighed and wiped my tear soaked face, I picked up my cellphone and punched in some numbers..."Hello, daddy its Riri"...
Friday, July 16, 2010
Shadows
In the shadows, beyond where wandering eyes could find me, thats where I was, hidden within myself. No one knew much about me, only that if they were looking for a party, I was the chic to drag along. I spent my days building a brick wall around myself, to hide the troubled person within. On the outside, I was a fun-loving, sarcastic yet funny person. With this charade going on, no one bothered to look into my eyes and see the pain, the years of trauma even the loneliness. They were all satisfied with the person I was, and who could blame them? I was a doll. My brick wall was somehow huffed and puffed down eventually, it was all Martha's doing. She came along and shook people's lives up, soon enough, everyone was in awe of her-except me. In her I saw myself, and it freaked me out, so I avoided her, but not for long. I was working late on a tuesday night, there was a soft knock on the door.'Come in,' I mumbled dutifully. I was a little shaken when I realised it was her and even more shaken when she walked over to me and hugged me. Wrapping my arms slowly around her I hugged her back and searched my mind for any memories of when we became girlfriends. She pulled back and looked into my eyes,'Its me peaches'. How did she know that name? Fear and curiousity ran through my body. 'I know u probably won't recognize me without my red wig and my trademark whips,' tears shone in her eyes. My head jerked up, It couldn't be, candy was dead, I watched our pimp shoot her in the back as we tried to run away.Those bullets were meant for me, she pushed me out of the way and took them,'You got potential P, use it, now run!' My life was a lie after that, I tried to numb the pain, but every night I relived it. Words couldn't escape my mouth, I just broke down, I cried for the first time since that night. I didn't care how she escaped, all I knew was that there would be no shadows to hide in, no charades to put up with, just my sister and I free from the rotten world our mother created.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Using my derringer...
My mind screamed at me, begging me to stop, pleading with me to end this madness, but I couldn't, it was my turn to hit him, my turn to show him who's boss. I straightened the bed nervously and tried to lie down as suggestively and seductively as possible. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, wincing at the sharp contrast. It was like staring back at a stranger. My eyelashes were heavily coated with mascara, the smoky eyes I had done made me feel gothic. I had on some rose red lipstick and enough blush to make me look permanently flushed. Looking down at my lacy black lingerie, I couldn't help but compare myself to the women down at the local brothel. I gathered the ends of my robe and hugged myself, hoping to get some comfort out of my own embrace. There was a loud knock on the door and the door knob rattled non-stop, I gathered the ends of my robe around me protectively as I went to get the door. It was him, he didn't even give me time to fake a smile. He walked in, slammed the door closed and pounced on me. His mouth devoured mine, as he poured his saliva down my throat. I couldn't help but gag as he stuck his tongue in my mouth but he took no notice. My lingerie went un-noticed as he tore as it like an animal, leaving red marks on my milky skin. Soon enough he tore at his own clothes, revealing his slightly overweight and hairy body. I mumbled something about using the bathroom and rushed out before he could object. I hurried in and opened my cabinet, removing a derringer from it. I eyed the gun warily and leaned on the sink because my legs were turning to jelly. 'Are u asleep in there?!' He yelled. I took a deep breath and flung the door open pointing the gun at him. I smiled wickedly once I saw the smug grin on his face. Before he could mock me I pulled the trigger, hitting him in the neck. I watched as he sank to the floor, pure suprise written all over his face. Smiling sadly, I said,' Goodbye grand dad'. Then I shot him in the head.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Twisted stuff...
What is that smell? I thought as I held my breath, after a while I breathed out and almost puked as I inhaled the pungent smell once again. It started two days ago, but I didn't bother, our house and a pig sty had alot in common, but this smell was so strong, I had never smelt anything this bad. Mum was hardly at home and junior, my little brother was meant to be at my aunt's for the week. I had gone over to jessica's to study for our chem practical hoping to come back and meet the house in the same grubby but livable state I left it. I shrugged and raked a frustrated hand through my shoulder length curls, contemplating on whether or not to turn around and sprint to jessica's house. Mum would probably get home and solve the problem. A wave of guilt washed over me as I took the thought back, Mum worked two shifts, she didn't need a third one at home. Reluctantly, I stepped into the house and gingerly shut the door behind me. I hurriedly took off my 'save the planet' t-shirt and put it over my nose. I smiled to myself, it smelt really nice, just like jessica's house, coffee and a soft touch of jasmine. I made a mental note to make up loads of excuses to go back there. They actually cleaned their house more than thrice a year. I found myself walking up the stairs, the odour heightened, so did my urge to run out and escape from this hell hole. I pushed the door to the room I shared with junior open, it was just as I left it. So I moved on, the bathroom door was open, but that seemed to be clear too. That just left Mum's room, I shook my head and smiled to myself, she could get so careless sometimes, but I loved her. God knows I wasn't prepared for what I saw. A gasp of shock escaped my lips, I dropped my shirt on the ground then some steamy, stinky vomit on top of it. I just stood there staring at the masterpiece of horror, madness and craziness. I soon jerked out of my shock and ran out fast as my wobbly legs could carry me. Why would anyone chop my Mum to pieces?
Deadly choices.
You can't judge me for what you don't understand, I did what I had to do, I chose life... I'm what you would call an orphan, but unlike most orphans I knew who my birth parents were and to make matters worse, they still lived in town. My mum worked three shifts and still couldn't feed herself, my dad on the other hand was a wanna-be drug lord who despised the air I breathed. Neither of them wanted me, but thats okay, I didn't want them either. I was dropped off at the local orphanage before my umblical cord was well cut. Being as sarcastic and unpleasant I was, people never stopped reminding me of my screwed up parentage, at first it got to me, but I learnt to numb the pain. At age 7, Kim offered me a better life and I didn't look back. I ran away with her, I wanted a new life, I didn't know the new life would require me to take other lives. After the initial shock, I plunged myself into work, training and practising twice as hard. I pushed myself beyond the limit. Having no real parent figures, I turned to kim, she was my friend and instructor. 5 years ago she recommended me to an organization that tomb only the best, we didn't cry and hug at my departure, but our eyes screamed words we were too proud to voice. Today i finally get the chance to meet kim again, I glance at her picture, it is unmistakably her, there are lines on her face that weren't there 5 years ago but I recognize her proud poise. I feel something run down my cheek, I touch my cheek and glance at my wet fingertips. I'm crying, I haven't done that since I left the orphanage. I wish they were tears of joy, I wish I could say that I was happy to see her again. Kim is my next assignment. I take one last glance at the picture and put it in my breastpocket, close to my heart, I know what I have to do...
Monday, July 12, 2010
The end
I sat on the edge of the bed, the tears stung at my skin as the warm evening breeze blew over my face. The tears still rolled down my cheeks against my will, I dabbed at my raw skin with a clean tissue, it stung me so hard that I winced in pain, I began to dab harder, welcoming the pain as a punishment for what I had done. I honestly didn't mean to, I was only trying to set things straight yet I ruined it and in the process ruining my life. I ran a frustrated hand through my hair and slid off the bed slowly, I landed on the floor dragging the pack of kleenex with me, I felt the world spin uncontrollably around me. Closing my eyes tight, I remembered it all, the lies, the deceit, the chain of events that led to my loss. I got up speedily, steadying myself on the wall for a second. I rushed into my bathroom searching through my cabinet for an end to my misery. I found it, he left his sleeping tablets. I smiled through my tears, as I poured the pills down my throat, opening the tap I cupped my hands and took a few sips of water to wash the pills down. I didn't even bother turning the tap off, stumbling into my room I flung myself on my bed. I wasn't sure if the pills were kicking in or it was my mind playing games with me, but my eyes were too heavy to stay open. Well this was how it was all going to end, this was what you got once your husband found out that you were sleeping with his two brothers and his father... Especially if he found out from you.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
A world of my own.
In a world of my own, thats where I was every xmas, the other girls noticed, Miss Gracia noticed too, but i didn't care. None of them understood, xmas was a period of festivities for them, a big tree, lots of presents, most girls got adopted during xmas too. My xmas was also haunted by a tree, the one my dad had driven into, the one that left my mother and little brother dead, the one that spared me and left me to fend for myself in the cruel world of an orphanage... Xmas was wen my life changed, I was no longer happy Cindy, I watched the life drain out of my family as i lay there in shock, happy Cindy died in that car crash... Now I was just a sad faced girl with a limp, the other girls made fun of me at first but i think they looked past that and saw the sadness in my eyes, no one would adopt a deformed child, at 18 I would be left to fend for my self beyond the walls of the orphanage, all i would ever get was pity. I stared out the window, watching the snow flakes fall, a tear rolled down my cheek. Xmas was wen I lost it all, so it didn't deserve my celebration. I let the tears flow freely as I drifted deeper into my sad world.
Hating that I don't hate you...
In the beginning there's always light, light so bright it blinds us... We take no notice hoping that what we can't see won't hurt us. How wrong we always are... I choose not to see the lipstick on your shirt, I choose not to see the messages on your phone, I choose not to hear and see the sly remarks and pitiful glances of others not blinded by the light, I choose you, because you are in the air I breath, you invade my 5 senses and create a 6th one in me, you arouse feelings in me I never knew I had, when i see you my heart beats at a speed that no human could possibly attain, you know how much power you wield over me and you use it. Soon enough the light dims, I gradually being to see everything and more, I realise that I can no longer turn away from the things you do, moving on without you is my only option. Yet I can't help smiling when I remember the memories we created, the breezy nights under the stars, the sunsets in your arms when I willed the sun to stay down forever, the lazy afternoons we talked exchanging parts of our lives and cherishing them... I try to provoke the hatred within me but it is to no avail, you are a part of me and will always be. I can't help but hate that I can't hate you...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)